I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
