good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
