I don't think brook has ever known best
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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