Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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