ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i dont even know how to be here
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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