addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
