and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
