don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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