you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
