people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
