Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
