i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
