Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
