Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
