it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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