...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
