why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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