Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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