nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
