at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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