They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
