I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
