The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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