i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think people are normalizing furries
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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