I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
