I love black thongs
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
