I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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