Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
