This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
