i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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