My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
