we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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