The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
