your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
