the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
