I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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