I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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