I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
