some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
