Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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