You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
