I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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