Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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