I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
