hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
