Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
