It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
