Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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