How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
