Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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