So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
